i hate you because…

Best Friend, I hate you because you love tagging me in the most unflattering photos on Facebook.Thanks, Bestie!

Best Friend, I hate you because you try to dress like me but end up looking like a whore. Are you trying to tell me something?

Best Friend, I hate you because you are a whore.

Best Friend, I hate you because you stuck to our diet and I just ate my third cupcake.

Best Friend, I hate you because you're beautiful. I really do.

Best Friend, I hate you because you're 31 and still don't know how to pick out flowers for a girl. Tip: Baby's breath isn't cute.

Best Friend, I hate you because you can see right through me (and sometimes I'd like to remain a mystery).