i hate you because…

Roommate, I hate you because you never clean the house or do the dishes, wtf is it really that hard!?

Roommate, I hate you because you sit there and eat your delicious popcorn from your "secret stash" right in front of us everyday and you won't share.

Roommate, I hate you because you love to spring things on me underhandedly because you don't have the strength to talk to me face to face

Roommate, I hate you because you always think you have to be right about everything, and you'll insult other people because you're too stubborn to realize that they might be right

Roommate, I hate you because you slam everything!

Roommate, I hate you because you think being mean to people is fun...who thinks like that?!

Roommate, I hate you because you think I should clean up after you like your mom. You think dishes wash themselves and/or put themselves in the dishwasher and that leaving a lit candle next to a bottle of acetone overnight is laughable. I clean and then you blow through like a hurricane.

Roommate, I hate you because your talking on the phone really loud and I'm trying to watch wedding crashers.

Roommate, I hate you because you talk trash about me when im upstairs in my room. i hope you know i can hear you.

Roommate, I hate you because you complain that i eat everything when im the only one buying groceries because you and your boyfriend eat it all after a couple days.

Roommate, I hate you because you think every facebook status i post is about you.

Roommate, I hate you because you told me you would take me to work and hid in your room when it came time. thanks a lot for making me late on my first day.

Roommate, I hate you because you think the world revolves around you since youre an only child. well guess what? it doesnt work that way.

Roommate, I hate you because you deleted me off facebook, blocked me, and then post things about me. how do you think it makes me feel when my grandparents ask me whats going on when you wont even talk to me about it?

Roommate, I hate you because you plan parties without asking me and then tell me once you invite your annoying friends over to invite who i want.