i hate you because…

Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because I wasted my birthday wishes on you, when I could have been asking for shoes.

Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because no matter how much I tell myself that i am over you, it only takes a conversations with you to make me realize i am always going to be in love with you.

Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because it's impossible to get over you when Facebook constantly updates me about all the girls you "friend".

Current Crush, I hate you because knowing that you're "just not that into me" makes me like you even more.

Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because I literally can't stop looking at your facebook page and I don't even like you anymore.

Current Crush, I hate you because I've been staring at this page for about five minutes and I can't think of one thing I hate about you.

Current Crush, I hate you because on our date I went for the "fake reach" into my purse to help pay and you let me.

Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because you make me second guess my awesomeness.

Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because you are perfect in everyway, except for the one way that I need you to be perfect for me.

Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because I love you so much.

Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because my whole family fell in love with you and now I’m stuck explaining to Grandma what went wrong.

Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because the version of you that I have in my head has always been better than the real you. You're perfect in the dreams I still have about you. Get that way in real life.

Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because your ass dumped me when i told you i loved you with the response of " im sorry but i want to get as much ass as i can in my lifetime."

Best Friend, I hate you because you can see right through me (and sometimes I'd like to remain a mystery).

Ex-Boyfriend, I hate you because my friends are tired of listening to me analyze and re-analyze just to conclude that you really are a dick.