i hate you because…

  1. Current Crush, I hate you because you are 4 years younger than me and my ovaries are going to want more out of this relationship than you'll be ready for.

  2. Brother, I hate you because you like Van Halen.

  3. Husband, I hate you because you keep comparing me to your friend's wives ...

  4. Current Crush, I hate you because every time you look at me or talk to me I somehow forget how to speak.

  5. Ex-Girlfriend, I hate you because you dumped me and then told me to talk to YOUR friend's about dealing with the break up.

  6. Current Crush, I hate you because you made my IQ drop to zero and my EQ drop to -250 when I talk to you.

  7. Friend, I hate you because you say "safe flight" to me every time I go on a plane. If you want to know if I arrived safe, just check the news.

  8. Boyfriend, I hate you because you can be te sweetest person in the world, but its excessive. and the extremely rare time you arent being lovey is when ur asking for sex.

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